ZETAS DIARY

Dec 20th 2008.........Mom takes to sofa,I miss a days picking up!

Dec 23rd 2008.........Mom still on sofa,miss shoot breakfast and another days picking up.
Dec 24th 2008.........BORED!!so help myself to:3 x boxes cup-a-soup,2 x pkts biscuits,1 x jumbo swiss roll and 1lb plain choc...YUMMY!Visit to the vets to break boredom,unfortunately I am stabbed and then the shame of it.....I am violently sick on the car park.Home to sleep off sore tummy,Mom makes me a charcoal drink...........YUK.Teatime they only give me pasta to settle my tum.
Dec 26th 2008..........Dad goes shooting and leaves me behind......I wonder why?
Dec 27th 2008..........Back to see that nice vet again,this time she stabs me and takes out some blood!Doesn't she have enough of her own?!
Jan 3rd 2009............Hooray out picking up today,Mom sez its like taking out a ticking time bomb!!
  Have done several more days out beating(on one occasion quite literally,but I dont think that I should have gone to look for birds in the woods on my own!)and picking up......Mom getting very excited when I give her a bird instead of trotting round the field first.
  Mom has pulled out alot of my coat and keeps muttering about Crufts and suchlike,but I do wish she would stop fiddling........she even does it when we are out shooting!she seems to have a stripping knife in her pocket at all times.
 Ho hum end of the season now and I'm bored already,but Mom talking about BCA training and such..............this means I have an opportunity to show off!
  Played russian Roulette with the starting pistol today and swallowed some blanks..........now frightened to fart in case I shoot myself!!
   Mar '09...........managed to come into season for Crufts!!but I still had to go so I made sure that every fanciable dog could put his nose in me bum!
  April '09........Mom took the 'ginger one'to a club show today,she did quite well...........apparently!and came back real pleased cos she'd found someone that read MY diary and thought I was really funny........which I am.
  April '09........started training at WGDS with some chap called Norm.........he's anything but!He keeps saying"listen to me" which I do but he can't read spinone yet!
May '09.........have done my first W/T of the year and I HAVE improved.......no zeros today!
  June '09........how beautiful am I? only gone and got the RBCC at Blackpool! Mom weepy,ecstatic and muttering things like:"I knew she had beauty as well as brains.".......I knew that ALL along!